SAUL'S DUES SEMINAR

Dues. Membership commitment. Financial support. It is important to educate each congregant about his/her obligation to the whole. That is why a Very Important Jewish Think Tank held a seminar explaining to temple leadership the many options to assist them in creating successful congregational support systems. My dear friend Saul Rabinowitz, past president of the Schenectady Jewish Center, attended such a seminar.

Saul reports that three wise men from the Very Important Jewish Think Tank stressed to those in attendance that they must convince existing and prospective members that synagogue membership is worthy of being a major recipient of their charitable and philanthropic giving, because only the temple teaches and inspires Jews to manifest the ideals that are central to all other Jewish institutional endeavors. That was Power Point Slide No. 1.

Only one of the wise men spoke; the other two were drinking iced teas and eating jelly donuts. The wise speaking man continued: “Once your members have accepted in theory the idea of supporting the synagogue, they must be asked for their financial commitment. Presented below are some commonly utilized congregational support systems.”

Saul yawned, but sipped his Sanka hoping for a jolt of caffeine as the next slide was revealed.

“Fixed Minimum: Every membership unit is obligated to contribute the same annual amount, regardless of family composition or financial status. Next slide, please.

Family Support: This system is correlated to marital and family status. It is based on the theory that family size and configuration correlate to the cost of providing various congregational services. Next slide, please.”

Saul devoured his jelly donut in two bites, a personal best! Another slide flashed onto the screen.

“Fair Share: This system is designed to insure that every member pay equitably so that support of the temple is reasonably distributed among all members. Its purpose is to sufficiently fund the temple’s programs by establishing a commitment level based on a certain percentage of members’ incomes. Next slide, please.”

Saul was getting bored, and devil he is, began to think of ways to liven up the proceedings. An idea came to him with a sheepish grin.

“Free Will: With this system, each member can pay whatever he or she wants – or nothing at all. “

“We’ll all surely go out of business if we try this,” said Saul. “Only the church can get away with this system.”

Before the wise man could say “Next slide, please” Saul Rabinowitz raised the question that was on everyone’s mind.

“What if your congregation has many members who are blessed to live a charmed life, but for some reason, do not give to their temple one penny more than the dues required?”

A buzz raced through the crowd, a sea of heads nodding in agreement.

“We have slides for that,” said the presenter, as he switched to another laptop already loaded with a special presentation.

“Slide No. 1 is The Landscaper Dues System. A family pays the temple the same amount that is spent on landscaping at their primary residence. Dues relief adjustments can be negotiated for landscaping at a summer home.

“Slide No. 2 is The Manicure Dues System. A single woman or widow pays the temple the same amount that is spent on manicures during the temple’s fiscal year. Many temples now include pedicures and waxing in this calculation. Since the economy began to tank, spa treatments and electrolysis are often considered part of this membership package.

“Slide No. 3 is The Tee Party Dues System. A family pays the temple the same amount that is spent on golf, golf equipment, golf instruction, and golf attire. This system works particularly well for the congregations in Pebble Beach, Augusta, and Bethpage.

“Slide No. 4 is The Sushi Restaurant Dues System. In its original context, this system required a family to pay the temple the same amount that is spent on dining out for sushi during the year. The system has now been amended to include take out, as well as to be all inclusive of Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Korean barbeque, and Hibachi dining.”

Saul Rabinowitz raised his hand and inquired, “Which temples are most successful; which system works best? “

To which our wise man replied: “Sushi rules. Temples using the Sushi Dues System can buy and sell your struggling little shul ten times over.”

Confucius could not have said it any better. In bed.